Senior Editor, Jivewater News
In light of today’s breaking news busts running rampant through our fine community (Trailer Park Meth Lab and our beloved Wal-Mart being used as a Child Prostitution Ring), we at The Jivewater News have determined that our subscribers have more entertainment than they can handle. We have decided to cease operations for the next 24 hours, as we cannot compete with such outlandish news. We always strive to bring you the highest quality news stories, however, we can admit defeat when we see it… and we’ve been truly outdone today. We promise to try harder in the future and hope you can accept our humble apology.
Shameless plug: if you can find it in your hearts to help us get 50 “likes” on Facebook by recommending us to your friends, we will cease ceasing and get back to work. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Senior Editor