FRANKLIN—North Carolinians Stewart Duegudd, of Como, and Susie Turnsignal, of Elizabeth City proudly earned valid Virginia Driver’s licenses Monday, as the only two passing participants of the the 2012 Spring Driving Course. The course offered both classroom instruction at the Franklin Workforce Development Center and also saw participants take their driving test at the former Southampton Motor Speedway. Any North Carolinian driver, aged 15 to 103 years old was eligible, and if able to pass would be allowed the opportunity to drive within Virginia borders. (See VA bans NC Drivers.)
In all, more than 9,000 drivers turned out in an attempt to gain their license. The classroom course was taught by Virginia State Trooper, Stanley Johnson, with Virginia State Trooper, Moe Parr, handling the driving course. Drivers first had to pass the classroom portion before moving on to the driving course. “As you know, we had over 9,000 begin our classroom course,” said Johnson. “Well, as you can imagine, we had quite a few fail by the time the driving portion rolled around. Only 25 passed in the classroom. You would not believe the type of stuff they thought was legal. One lady thought it was okay to put her 3-year-old in the back of her pickup in the dog box, as she so eloquently put it, “Dem dogs be aw-rite in da back, why he special?” So as you can see, it’s going to take awhile before we make a breakthrough with this group.”
| Joseph and Josephina Leftlaner of Murfreesboro both attended the course, and were not pleased. “I’m tyrred of da bullshiet,” said Joseph, shaking his head. “You can’t talk no sense into dem folks, can’t e’rebody be perfect on the roadways. Copper talkin’ bout makin’ left hand turn signals. How am I ‘sposed to make a turn signal with a Natty Light in that hand? Some people!” Karen Marlboro from Edenton took three of her best friends with her to the course. Her crew actually made it through to the driving portion, but Trooper Parr failed them when they were unable to keep minimum speed. “We have standards on the highway,” said Parr. “It’s dangerous to go below the speed limit, and those four felt that going 35 in a 55mph zone was acceptable. Not to mention, while going 20mph below the speed limit, they all felt the need to powder their nose and check their mascara with a cigarette never leaving its perch on their lips. Needless to say they won’t be driving in our fine state anytime soon.” |
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The driving course was also marred heavily with failing drivers. With only 2 out of 25, or 8%, passing, the daylong course was a sight to behold. “We might need to rethink our strategy a little bit here,” said Parr. “In hindsight, turning 25 North Carolinians loose at the same time may not have been the best idea. There were several rear-enders, some speeding, some too slow, there were hunting dogs everywhere. And while I congratulate our two graduates, I can assure you, they are most certainly the worst two legal drivers in the state of Virginia.”
The future of the program is shaky at best. “I have to admit, this course has really shaken my faith in humanity,” said Johnson. “You think you’ve seen it all, but you haven’t. They come up with new stuff to surprise you everyday. It’s a sad day for the Commonwealth and a black eye for North Carolina. Please, Lord, have mercy on us.”
For now, the next course is planned to begin July 5th.