Walmart Greeter Suspended Indefinitely
FRANKLIN—A Walmart employee has allegedly exposed himself to a co-worker.
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During a long afternoon shift a couple weeks ago, Jonathan, Wal-Mart’s greeter, and an esteemed contributing writer to The Jivewater News, cast his lure out a little too far in the sporting goods section and has subsequently been suspended with an investigation pending. The incident occurred in the Franklin Wal-Mart, the store manager reported. “The employee was reportedly walking around the fishing aisle, apparently trying to demonstrate to the new girl his love tackle, and a worm dangling technique,” said the store manager. “We’ll have to have it investigated, but he’ll have to be suspended at least until we have all the information. At this time, we have not terminated Jonathan, but we cannot comment further.” |
Jonathan declined to comment at the behest of his lawyers and just released a statement saying the he will release a statement after the investigation has ended.
The Jivewater News’ Senior Editor, in a statement released Monday, came to Jonathan’s defense. “We have had a great working relationship with Jonathan. At this time of great turmoil for him, we stand behind him 97%. We can’t begin to tell you the amount of penii we’ve seen walking around that store, so what difference is there in another one flopping around? We saw the victim in question. She should be thrilled someone is flashing something her way in the first place. We’ll talk to Jonathan about the proper times to flash his package in public to ensure this never happens again. Under the right circumstances, which means as long as he works for Wal-Mart, we will allow Jonathan to continue writing for Jivewater, and we support him in his quest for worm dangling.”