Cloggers check the bottom of their shoes for doo doo.
CARRSVILLE—Nearly 200 Carrsville residents were left with their mouth agape Monday night after a member of the Cloggers ‘N’ Floggers Dance Troupe dropped a log, or doody, on the right side of the main stage. The group, comprised of area five-year-olds, was performing to a medley of past and current pop hits, when little Shitonya Brown broke out a new dance for the Carrsville crowd.
Dancing to Luke Bryan’s “Country Girl Shake it for Me,” Brown began emphatically shaking her posterior to the shocked crowd. As the song wore on, a couple onlookers in the front row soon realized that Shitonya was in the midst of a “big stinky.” With the log clinging to her rear end, she began shaking wildly trying to free the fresh loaf from her person. During the second chorus, the few who recognized what was happening began to cheer on Brown, in the hopes that she would be free of her mud butt. By the time Mr. Bryan had reached his third round of shake it for me please, the chocolate mousse had finally been freed.
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Cloggers check the bottom of their shoes for doo doo. |
Cloggers ‘N’ Floggers’ Manager Tiny Danza was still in disbelief after the incident. “I had noticed when she was dancing to “I Kissed a Girl” that she was moving a little oddly. I thought she was just having a bad routine and she’d pull herself through it, I had no idea she’d pull out the steamer move.” Carrsville resident and event attendee, Alma Chirren experienced the entire performance and was checked at the hospital afterwards. After the shock wore off, she was able to comment on the event, noting, “That’s not something I’m likely to forget in a long time. Not only did she pinch a loaf right in front of me, another poor girl slipped in it during the next song. I heard she broke her arm and got some dookie in her hair.” |
“Most of the crowd affected was still unsure of what to do after the performance,” Danza said. “There were several patrons who have requested we disband, and never be allowed to perform ever again. The mayor has even chimed in calling it ‘Turdgate,’ and has ordered a full investigation. He had a CSI team come in and collect samples of the peanut riddled feces for evidence. I hate it, these girls work so hard, and for it to all end like this is disheartening.”
Another parent, who requested anonymity, said, “That was the shit. I’ve been coming to this dry clogging for three years now and its the same boring crap week after week. I’ve never laughed so hard in my entire life. I hope this becomes a repeat performance.”
As of this time, all Cloggers ‘N’ Floggers dances have been postponed indefinitely, and all Cloggers ‘N’ Floggers’ dancers will have to undergo mandatory bowel evacuation training, or “potty” training.