WINDSOR—The Windsor Red Light District is looking for homes for its 16 workers of the night with the herpes virus, including Miss Kitty Glitterati and Miss Sheer Purrfection.
Any girls that are not given work before Sunday February 5 will be put out, said Big Daddy G, spokesman for The Windsor Red Light District Office. Consultations are free. Anything past that is at your own peril and comes at a cost.
Because of the herpes’ highly contagious nature, their hoo-ha must be cleaned and disinfected with no people in the premises for a minimum of 30 days. Thirty to sixty days is recommended, but forty-five will suffice if you’re in a pinch.
The Red Light District initially had 30 workers with the virus. A desperate volunteer from Chesapeake took 12 of the call girls in and another resident took two, Big Daddy G said. “They’re all a big happy infected family now.” They will still need volunteers to provide temporary homes for Miss Crystal Pussina and Miss Tabby Lou Catten.
“The girls are available for work, as long as a home does not already have another girl, there is no danger of the virus being transmitted,” Big Daddy G said. “Something about their lady stuff getting synced up together or some shit. Oh, but you can still get it, so just wrap it up man.”
Anyone interested in giving an old girl some work may call the Windsor Red Light District which is open 24/7/365.